Strategies to Support Parents (and their Children) to Succeed in School: What a New Parent Partner Should Know to Help Families

As parent partners, we are eager to be helpful to a family. However, there are things to keep in mind when collaborating with parents who are dealing with issues related to their child’s education.  

Potential Obstacles to Parent Involvement  

The parent or caregiver who holds educational rights has more power than they realize and is really the most important person at a meeting when discussing their child. However, it can be challenging for the parent or caregiver to feel that way. Some issues that can negatively impact parent engagement and/or involvement can include: 

• Past Triggers. When their child starts showing concerns in school, a parent’s own past negative school experiences can be triggered. They may have had similar issues that their child is now experiencing. 
• Intimidation. To reach out to the teacher or school principal may feel intimidating—even before considering key issues such as ethnicity, language, social-economic status and/or cultural differences.  

• Knowledge Gap: Lack of knowledge of what a parent can ask of the school is another barrier. When they do meet with school staff, it can be a large meeting with multiple school staff members who are experts at their various roles (i.e., school principal, behavioralist, school psychologist, or a speech therapist). Oftentimes, the parents have never met these individuals and can feel overwhelmed by strangers talking about their child and sharing complex information as though they were the experts on your child. 

How Parent Partners Can Help! 

Fortunately, parent partners can help parents engage in their important role in their child’s education. Here are some tips parent partners can employ to most effectively help parents and their children. 

Be informed 

Often, parent partners have learned how to navigate school issues, including special education, through their own child’s experiences. In such instances, the parent partner can leverage their past experience to support families, while also seeking out and sharing as much current information as possible. Educate yourself on current resources related to parents’ rights and addressing their child’s needs in school.  

Empower parents 

When encouraging parents to communicate with school staff about their child, make sure they put concerns in writing. Encourage parents to ask questions and to keep asking them until they get a complete answer.  

In meetings (such as an IEP meeting), empowered parents will understand that this is their meeting. While it is your job as a parent partner to be a support person to the parents, you are not at the meeting to take over because you once had an IEP with your child and therefore you “know best.” There will be times when you might not agree with their wishes, which is fine. Your role is to Inform parents of their choices, go over pros and cons, and then accept their final decision. 

Cultivate constructive connections 

Make sure that when parents are reaching out to request formal assessments that they are communicating with the appropriate person and/or organizational entity. For example, do not rely on the kind teacher who tells a parent that they should not have the child labeled (assessed) as “special needs” and to “just give it more time.” While comments like these are often well-intentioned, they can be detrimental to an important early intervention. Parents need to know what services can be offered to support their child.  

Assist parents in preparing for meetings 

The parent partner should meet with the parents prior to any meeting to review what they want to achieve from the meeting and what support they are looking for from you. As a parent partner, I often tell my parents that I might ask obvious questions to ensure that school staff do not go too fast, remind school staff to avoid using “alphabet” soup language or too many acronyms (i.e., IEP, SST, RSP etc.) and to allow time for parents to understand issues being discussed by school staff. Also, it is important for parents to remember that their child’s educational program can be adjusted, and parents are able to call an IEP meeting when necessary. The IEP team will review the child’s educational plan annually, if not before, to meet the child’s needs. Parents are essential and required members of the IEP team. Remind parents that they have the right to request the IEP meeting be recorded within a required 24-hour written notice. 

Stay within the scope of your role 

Some examples have already been shared earlier in this article (see Empower parents). As another example: Most parent partners are not licensed attorneys. If a family needs formal legal support, you can refer them to legal advocacy entities such as Disability Rights California, California Rural Legal Assistance, or a private attorney who specializes in special education law. Most SELPA offices also have a list of no cost to low-cost educational advocates and attorneys the parents can request. 

Remember self-care—obtain support! 

Finally, and very importantly, look for and obtain support for yourself. You may have had your own experiences with your child in school. I personally have experienced counter transference when attending a meeting for a family with a school staff member that had not been supportive to my child. I am fortunate to have access to clinical supervision through my agency.  My agency acknowledges that counter transference is a part of supporting families and can be navigated to prevent any adverse effects to their care. If your agency does not provide this, it’s still important that you obtain support.  

Read additional articles from this issue of the Wraparound Connections Newsletter!