Strengthening Parents to Get Back Up!
A parent partner is someone who has lived experiences that they share with other parents who are going through similar difficult circumstances. Parent partners have the heart to share their struggles and their mistakes to strengthen and provide hope to those who otherwise may feel hopeless.
Being raised in Los Angeles, California, I had some challenges in my life that led me down the wrong road. When I was 17 years old, I met a young man who was affiliated with a hardcore gang. I had my first two children with him and, unfortunately, they were raised around gangs, violence, murder and drugs while their father was frequently in and out of prison. At the time, I did not understand the impact that this lifestyle would have on my children or myself.
After years of this lifestyle, I wanted out. I began to ask myself, “What kind of mother am I to have my children around such violence?” Looking for a way out, for support and for change, I decided to go back to church, much in the way I was raised to, and my life started to turn around. I met another man in church. We got married, I had my third child, and things were good.
Then, in a cruel twist of fate, my two oldest children’s father was killed. Just a year later, my husband ended up in jail. He was subsequently sentenced to 30 years to life.
As parent partners, we offer hope to what looks hopeless.
So, there I was, with three children ages 1, 7 and 12 years old, one father killed, and the other in prison. Despite my best efforts, my two oldest children joined the gang their father was in. Again, I began asking myself, “What
type of mother am I?” I felt like a failure.
My journey led me to becoming a parent partner.
Even though I was down, depressed and broken, I continued to go to church, and I thank God for the pastor I had in my life. While I was looking for help for my son who was now in prison, my faith led me to a gang intervention program, where I started to volunteer my time working with young men in gangs, which eventually led me to start a parent-support component, where I could share my life experiences to empower other parents who might feel alone, ashamed, embarrassed, or feel like nobody could understand or relate.
Soon after, I met the CEO of Kedren Mental Health and was offered a job as a parent partner. I had never heard of a parent partner position before and I didn’t know anything about mental health. I learned that I would be working with parents because my life experiences would allow me to relate to other parents’ struggles, challenges, and what they are going through with their own children.
I started to understand that God’s plan in my life was in preparation for this purpose: to become a parent partner. Because of my lived experiences, I had many more opportunities to encourage, empower, uplift, strengthen and support other parents and caregivers as they made it through their storm.
As part of the Wraparound team, a parent partner brings a parent’s perspective to the table and encouragement to the family. With support from parent partners, parents and caregivers can find the courage to heal their childhood wounds or find the support they need to save their children from gangs, drugs, dropping out of school or drinking without feeling any judgement, shame or embarrassment. As a parent partner, you meet families that can’t see hope.
They can make it! They can learn how to fight to save their children and family. A parent partner can provide what fallen families need to help them get back up.
Read additional articles from this issue of the Wraparound Connections Newsletter!