The Power of Support From Our Peers
I was lost, confused, and afraid. I reached into the darkness of my mind and grasped at thoughts for understanding. Instead, my fingers were gummed up with chaos. It was Friday night, and the police had placed me in custody as a victim of child abuse.
Sitting in the backseat of a police car, I stared at streetlights peeking through the darkest of night. I was escorted into a holding cell where youth were in custody for committing a crime–but I hadn’t committed a crime. Social workers placed me in a foster home far away from my family, friends, church and school. I went from eating tortillas, enchiladas, nopales and pozole to grits, okra and collard greens with ham hocks. Music morphed from mariachi to gospel. I was lost–out of touch.
As a foster child, I felt like a number on a ticket dispenser–invisible and disoriented. Hopelessness and grief grew like viruses pulsing through my veins. The county social worker recommended mental health therapy, and I recalled my terrible prior experience with a clinical therapist. My therapist and I had sat in leather chairs across from each other in her white, sterile room. She’d worn a Chanel couture-trimmed wool suit, polished nails, and perfectly coiffed hair. She and I had been many worlds apart.
Through cultivating and nurturing my peer relationships, I formed bonds, gained confidence and increased my emotional strength to overcome my hardships.
My county social worker told me she had enrolled me in a new mental health program for girls who had suffered traumatic sexual abuse. When I arrived, this therapist wore sneakers and a pastel cotton shirt. She restrained her wild hair with a simple rubber band. She introduced me to my peers: girls my age who were also in foster care and shared similar trauma experiences. I felt like I belonged. My peers shared their trauma and didn’t hold back their tears. I pulled out the trauma embedded deep in my soul and placed it in the center of the floor. As I expressed my shame and sorrow, the words scraped my throat like razor blades, making me choke and gag. But my peers were perceptive and responsive, and my therapist guided my journey to help me heal from within. This was my first peer-to-peer experience–and it worked for me.
After high school, I enlisted in the US Air Force. Working with crews of the C141 cargo planes, I was fully engrossed in technology, data science and mechanical engineering protocols. Following my enlistment, I earned my bachelor’s and master’s degrees in social work. However, my trauma history and frustrations–borne from my foster care experiences–continued to gnaw at my heels. To try and understand my child welfare experiences better, I began working at the Department of Child, Family and Adult Services in Los Angeles County, and learned about the different divisions and court procedures. Parallel to this, I enrolled in computer engineering, data science and technological ideation methodologies courses, where I created software applications. As a result, I have blended my technology, social work and child welfare lived experience to build mobile applications to empower the marginalized and vulnerable.
During a routine medical exam, my doctor discovered a suspicious growth. He completed various tests and informed me I had aggressive cancer. In six months or less, the cancer would spread throughout my body, and I would soon cease to exist on this earth. Again, I felt lost, confused and afraid. I asked God to give me the emotional courage and physical strength to overcome this incredible hurdle and sought peer support groups with similar lived experiences. These connections reduced my alienation, provided me with insight and helped me cope. Moreover, I fought for my life and fully participated in all medical
treatments. As a result, I did not succumb to a cancerous death.
Through cultivating and nurturing my peer relationships, I formed bonds, gained confidence and increased my emotional strength to overcome my hardships. Now, I am flourishing and continue to strive forward. As a result, I am now the advisor for the United Nations - Civil Society, International Youth Conference.
Tomorrow is not promised. Seek peer support groups for help and assistance. Live life in pursuit of your passion, dreams and wisdom.
Read additional articles from this issue of the Wraparound Connections Newsletter!